If you’ve heard what I’ve heard, then you’ve heard that this movie is complete shit. You’ve heard wrong.
It’s not shit, it’s the shit.
Sure, the technical stuff is all simplified to be more movie friendly, and some of it is just complete hooey – for instance, the cell network is down, so the kid hacks the phone to use a satellite network instead. Easy, I do that all the time. No, wait.
(Let’s not forget that even in a movie as techno-fantasy as The Matrix, Trinity used nmap when she hacked a network – P.S. how cool was that? Really cool, that’s how cool. Oh, you didn’t notice? Never mind.)
But here’s the thing: this is the best action movie I’ve seen all year and maybe the best Die Hard movie evaaaaar.
The opening action sequence was awesome, automatic weapons in small spaces are scary, and they do a fairly good job of showing the panicked scrabbling desperation of our protagonists as they frantically try get way from the guys with guns.
(What they didn’t show, and what movies never show, is that a bullet will go right through your fucking house. A fridge is not going to stop a bullet. A wall is not going to stop a bullet. Bits of plaster won’t chip off, you’ll just get guys on the other side of said wall falling over with smoking holes in their meat.)
We all know that McClane is going to get completely FUBAR, it’s one of the deals, his life is completely SNAFU… And so he does.
It doesn’t hurt that Cyril Raffaelli is one of the bad guys. He’s one of the coolest martial artist/stunt men in the world. Too bad he had to get minced.
Kevin Smith has a good role – as a dumptruck – no, I kid, he really challenges his acting chops this time by playing a fat fuck. I reckon he pulled it off. Guess he’s a method actor, huh? Too bad he didn’t get minced. (Would make a lot of sausages.) Nay, he still speaks in his acting voice (you know what I’m sayin’), but his role is actually pretty sweet. (Ignoring aforementioned photogenic version of hacking.)
What do I need to say about Bruce Willis? Not only is he a hot bald man, but he’s a complete bad-ass.
If you like a bit of action, you have to see this movie.
(Yeah, so I took the friendgirl to see this movie like two weeks ago, but for whatever reason – possibly I was movie-reviewed out after the festival – I never published to the site. Please forgive the Jackie Harvey’ing.)

